unfortune cookies

Yesterday’s excursion with Paul and Dave to the Wok-N-Roll also provided some fortune cookies. However, the content provided was not so much about our fortunes. I expected a glimpse into our respective futures.

Here’s what we got:

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Let’s be honest, that’s not a fortune. It’s really more of a wise saying or proverb. I’m not even sure how true it is.

Let someone know how special they are to you.

That was more like some general good advice, kind of the hot and sour soup for the soul kind of fortune cookie.

Finally:

It is most enjoyable to talk with you.

That’s just creepy. Besides the anthropomorphizing of the fortune cookie, why would anyone even write that?

The very first version of what would eventually become brian-food was a fortune cookie page that I maintained starting in 1997. The following appeared on that page in June, 2000.

These fortunes were collected by various Calvin College Information Technology employees, at different times, in no particular order, for no particular reason.

You will be advanced socially, without any special effort.
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
You and your wife will be happy in your life together.
You have the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
A thrilling time is in your immediate future.
You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it.
You have an important new business development shaping up.
Be positive in word, act, and deed.
What goes around comes around.
You will make a change for the better.
Success will come to you soon.
Be careful of what you wish for. You may get it.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Your principles mean more to you than money or success.
The game ain’t over ’til it’s over.
Your future looks bright.
Your luck has been completely changed today.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
You are the mast of every situation.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
Don’t let unexpected situations “throw” you.
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
Find release from your cares, have a good time.
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes.
Friends long absent are coming back to you.
Your present plans are going to succeed.
You will step on the soil of many countries.
You are independent politically.
You will witness a special ceremony.
Contentment is yours when you find it does not come from things.
Your business will assume vast proportions.
You are next in line for a promotion.
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
Good time to start something new.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commmits it.
If you wish to, you will have an opportunity.
Progress is risky. You can’t steal second and keep your foot on first.
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
Good habits are sustainable.
A letter of great importance will reach you soon.
You will soon be invited to a party.
Character is a victory, not a gift.
Worry is today’s mouse eating tomorrow’s cheese.
You will be awarded a great honor.
Be alert! You’re about to make a new lifelong friend.
A small incident will develop to your advantage.
You need not worry about the future.
Remember to share good fortune as wll as bad with your friends.
You will receive a fortune cookie.
You will be the best.
You have an unusual magnetic personality. Just be aware of your

That last one really trailed off there didn’t it?
Special thanks to the Wayback Machine for keeping a copy of that page for me all these years so I could retrieve it. (and that’s also why you don’t post goofy pictures of yourself on your myspace account kids!) Feel free to add your favorite euphemism to the end of those if you like. (in bed)

My favorite after all this time is still:
Behind an able man there are always.
…maybe it’s just me?

Brian Atkinson

Brian is an international and inspirational speaker, consultant, and voice artist. Brian has served as the Director of Digital Communications at American Bible Society, and the Director of Digital Media at The Bible Gateway (Gospel Communications International). He has worked as a communications director, technology manager, church-planter, radio announcer, welder, and ice cream man. He has a lot of t-shirts.

Posted in Brian-Food
3 comments on “unfortune cookies
  1. Paul says:

    “You will receive a fortune cookie.”

    Awesome.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I bequeath this fortune to you:
    “From your garden of dreams, many things will blossom.”
    Nope. It’s not chicken!

  3. Anonymous says:

    I got the completion of that last one… “Behind every good man there are always… other men.”