Recently, an acquaintance of mine asked (exclaimed) “what happened to you?” when I shared a Facebook video from of my U.S. Senator, Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), stating I was proud of her. Perhaps, also a perceived opposition to some things the GOP and current presidential administration did/does, despite the fact that I’m a Christian white male of a certain age.
Continue reading “What Happened to You?”
Church Website on a Shoestring
The most common question I hear has got to be, “How can we have a church website on a shoestring budget?” For the purposes of discussion, let’s assume you’ve got some kind of budget. An annual budget of $500 is a fine place to start. The answer to the shoestring church website question starts with the basic who-what-when-where-why questions we learned that time in 8th grade English during the journalism unit.
Continue reading “Church Website on a Shoestring”
What if the Cubs win?
What if the Cubs win?
Tonight, the Chicago Cubs face the Cleveland Indians in game seven of the world series. I have been a Cubs fan since I was a little kid, correction “long suffering Cubs fan” since I was a little kid. What if the Cubs Win? It is part of my identity. I mean, I’m a Christian, so I get my identity from Christ. I’m married, so my identity is also as a husband. But the Cubs man… the Cubs!
Critical Elements Of Any Church Website
Twenty years ago, churches were starting to put pieces of what they did online, and a few basics emerged that are as critical to a church website today, as they were then.
Continue reading “Critical Elements Of Any Church Website”
The Other Cheek, Shirt, and Extra Mile
We are called to love and forgive people who hurt us, no matter what. No matter what? Does the Bible actually say that? Did Jesus actually say that? Are we actually supposed to live that way?
Giving it Away
Have you ever noticed that I don’t play games or use these gadgets on Facebook? Ever. (ok rarely). Ever wonder why? Here’s what I wonder, “why would someone make a free viral tool or game?” Why would they give away something cool? Why would they give away something so cool that hundreds, thousands, or millions of people would use it? There’s a real reason.
Love Your Enemies
A Christian Response to ISIS
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”
Matthew 5:43-44 NIV
End of the World
As the Cubs gear up for a 1-game playoff vs Pittsburgh tonight, “Doomsday” is also today, at least according to Chris McCann, leader and founder of Pennsylvania-based eBible Fellowship. It’s like the mere possibility of the Cubs going to the playoffs, let alone the World Series is freaking out some people.
The Five “A”s
It’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day! (September 19) Here’s a primer to help you with what The Pirate Guys (c. 2006) call The Five “A”s – because there’s 5 of ’em, and they start with the letter “A”. Continue reading “The Five “A”s”
911 Recovery
It was the anniversary of 911 this week. September 11, 2001 is a tragic date, especially for people who lost loved ones in the planes, World Trade Centers, Pentagon, and near Stoystown, PA. It is good that we honor their memories, and work for peace, to ensure similar events do not happen again. Continue reading “911 Recovery”
Fred and Sharon
Holy Crap! Continue reading “Fred and Sharon”
Sound Effects
So there was that time I was on stage doing sound effects. Continue reading “Sound Effects”
Fish Where The Fish Are
No matter who you’re trying to reach, or for what purpose, you need to go where they are. Continue reading “Fish Where The Fish Are”
Being a Christian Without being a Jerk
As a Christian, I expect better from my Christian brothers and sisters. It hurts more when things go wrong. Continue reading “Being a Christian Without being a Jerk”
Wacky Laws
I live in Michigan. There are some wacky laws, still on the books here, and some of them appear in books about wacky laws. Continue reading “Wacky Laws”
A Prayer
Sometimes a prayer, tucked neatly into the Scriptures, surprises me. I had just such an experience recently. Continue reading “A Prayer”
Woodchuck or Groundhog?
When people talk about a varmint in their yard, along with rabbits, voles, field mice, and gophers, the groundhog or woodchuck usually shows up. Same or different? Continue reading “Woodchuck or Groundhog?”
Missionaries Wanted
As of March, 2015, Facebook became the equivalent of the world’s largest country with over 1.4 Billion monthly active users. Do they need missionaries there? Continue reading “Missionaries Wanted”
4 Easy Church Lessons from Ron Popeil
I’m not embarrassed to admit that Ron Popeil, the Ronco guy, is one of my heroes. Inventor, entrepreneur, marketer, and the godfather of the TV pitchman has four easy lessons for churches. Continue reading “4 Easy Church Lessons from Ron Popeil”
Voice-Artist-slash-Model-slash-Actor
I’ve worked as all of these things: a voice artist, a model, an actor. It’s the most fun I’ve ever had, and I’d like to tell you about it. Continue reading “Voice-Artist-slash-Model-slash-Actor”
As You Go
In the Great Commission, Jesus tells us to go and make disciples. Do you really need to go somewhere to make disciples? Is it even possible to live out the Great Commission in the digital world?
Continue reading “As You Go”
Unexpected Speaking Invitations
Speaking invitations come in all forms. You can contact me to invite me to speak. Sometimes people refer me to someone organizing a conference who might be looking for speakers, and I always appreciate those referrals. Sometimes, it’s an email, sometimes a phone call, and this one time, I got an invitation by text. To talk to a youth group, about sex. It’s always good to be prepared for the unexpected.
Continue reading “Unexpected Speaking Invitations”
Good For You
As an American Christian, I might want to outlaw things that are not good for you. I’m not alone. On May 30, 2012, The Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, announced the Portion Cap Rule. It stated that sugary beverages could not exceed 16oz portions. Later that year, the Board of Health unanimously approved the limit, and it would go into effect 6 months later. The underlying reason was that larger portions made people fat. It’s not good for you, so we’ll make it illegal. Continue reading “Good For You”
Skate Where the Puck is Going
Clairvoyance isn’t one of my spiritual gifts. I’ll go out on a limb and say that Wayne Gretzky, “The Great One,” didn’t have it either. He did have the ability to look at the players on the ice, and see where the puck was going, and go there. Continue reading “Skate Where the Puck is Going”
Flying Cars Conference
I’ve been a featured speaker at a variety of different conferences. Some are technology conferences, some faith-based, some not, and whenever I do, people look at some of my past job experience (Director of Digital Communications, Director of Digital Media) and think I’m going to give a tech-talk. I can, but I hardly ever do. Continue reading “Flying Cars Conference”
Baseball Sumo
A few years ago my parents visited me in Philadelphia, and I took them to a Camden Riversharks minor league baseball game. They got to meet my friend Holly (now my wife) and we had a lovely time. Oh, and I became a Sumo Wrestler. Continue reading “Baseball Sumo”
A Rabbit With a Pancake on its Head
That’s right I said, “a rabbit with a pancake on its head.” Continue reading “A Rabbit With a Pancake on its Head”
It’s Supposed To Be Tough
Reaching people across generations, across different communication tools, and becoming a missionary into a different communication culture sounds scary. It is. It’s not easy. The thing is, it’s supposed to be tough. Continue reading “It’s Supposed To Be Tough”
Distracted by Math
I recently spoke at my own church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. As the church is preparing a new outreach to college students in the Fall, the pastor and I talked about the need for the church get a handle on what it means to build relationships across generations. They need to understand how an older generation understands the church, and how people of differing ages might understand it differently.
Continue reading “Distracted by Math”
Why I Don’t Like Much
If you follow me on facebook, you’ve probably noticed that I don’t like those pictures of sad-eyed kids or lonely American soldiers. But why not?
Continue reading “Why I Don’t Like Much”
Get Personal
What makes one Facebook page better than another one? Is it the nature or the tone of their content?
Continue reading “Get Personal”
Social Media Warning
Warning Social Media users – there is a new threat to your personal security and it is being perpetrated on Facebook as well as other social media like Google+, Twitter, and Pinterest. The posted virus can infect Windows and Mac users as well as various distributions of Linux. Put simply, if you’re connected to social media at all, you need to be aware of this problem.
Continue reading “Social Media Warning”
Social Media Shortcuts
I don’t know about you, but I prefer to navigate through my programs using my keyboard as much as possible. The keyboard shortcuts for Undo (cmd+z) cut (cmd+x) copy (cmd+c) paste (cmd+v) and my favorite “Select All” (cmd+a) are indispensable to my every day work. I also use a few shortcuts in my social media platforms like J (next post) K (last post) and L (like photo – in the lightbox view). I had not explored all the available shortcuts until now.
Continue reading “Social Media Shortcuts”
Social Media and the FTC
The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has been governing online advertising on the web and email for years, but as of early March, 2013, the FTC includes governance for social media and mobile technology. How will this effect your employees? Continue reading “Social Media and the FTC”
Audience Engagement
When a Facebook page has been lying dormant for a time, it’s important to start providing content to engage the audience. Continue reading “Audience Engagement”
Pioneers not Settlers
I just remembered a moment from my recent speaking engagement in Wyoming. This one came out kinda off the cuff. Continue reading “Pioneers not Settlers”
It’s Never Too Late
So, you say your social media is dead in the water?
You’re getting nowhere?
You don’t even know what to post or when?
Take a few deep breaths and know this one key thing:
It’s never too late.
Continue reading “It’s Never Too Late”
New Instagram TOS
We’ve all head the news that Instagram (recently purchased by Facebook) is updating their Terms of Service (TOS). Continue reading “New Instagram TOS”
Content Strategy and the News
Yesterday was December 14, 2012 and I spent a large portion of the day producing content for Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. as commentary and encouragement regarding the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in Newtown, CT. Continue reading “Content Strategy and the News”
Quick Wins
Sometimes, just a few days can produce pretty spectacular results.
Social Network Voice took over posting for one of our clients for one week to cover a staffer’s vacation time. After just a few days, we can already see a dramatic increase in the Total Reach numbers. Continue reading “Quick Wins”
Respect for Authority and our Leaders
The Bible gives very specific instruction as it pertains to respect for our leaders. Continue reading “Respect for Authority and our Leaders”
Why You Need A Strategy
Over the last 20 years of talking to people about their technology, the web (interwebz), and now social networking and social media, I’ve heard the following statement too many times: “Let’s just get started, we can do the strategy thing later.”
Continue reading “Why You Need A Strategy”
Building a Business
I’m in a totally new world for me. I’m building a business.
So, I’m trying to read and listen to everything I can about doing that and the advice is all over the place. I’ve been doing the work, I’m trying to get people to hire me to do for them, for nearly 20 years, so I know what I’m doing on that end. But the business… that nebulous what’sit that lurks in the shadows of success, failure, subsistence, bankruptcy, and notoriety – I feel clueless sometimes. Continue reading “Building a Business”
1 Billion
Today, there are more people on Facebook, than there were on the planet 200 years ago.
Here are the facts about that. Continue reading “1 Billion”
Relational Messaging
My favorite way to help people connect to your brand is through relational messaging. For some organizations this is difficult, because you have to consistently care about your audience. I mean really, really care. You must provide them with the best answers to their needs, even if it’s not you. That builds trust. That keeps your audience loyal. Continue reading “Relational Messaging”
Doing Ministry Online
Most anyone who works in Christian Ministry thinks about one of a couple of things: ministry in the church, or some kind of boots-on-the-ground international missionary work. Those are of course a bit limiting, especially as it doesn’t take into consideration how God’s word is spread and people are ministered to through digital means. Continue reading “Doing Ministry Online”
Social Networking Content Strategy
Let’s talk about your social networking content strategy.The key to any successful venture in social media, social networking and any digital endeavor is relevancy. You’re either providing content relevant to your audience, or you need to figure out what they want and then deliver it. (watch the video) Continue reading “Social Networking Content Strategy”
Your Social Networking Circles
Are you approaching your social networking circles strategically?
(social networking introverts move along…) Most of us have Facebook friends by now and the Pew Internet & American Life Project estimates we average 229 of them. Continue reading “Your Social Networking Circles”
What’s your super power?
I recently read Noah Kagan’s blog post “Why I got Fired from Facebook (a $100 Million dollar lesson)“. It’s a great refelection on lessons learned from that experience, and one line in particular caught my eye. Continue reading “What’s your super power?”
A Broken World
Whenever I talk to people about God, I usually get questions about this sin or that. I get questions about sickness, disease, and in general, the junk that happens to us that seems unexplainable. We are often hurt and confused by natural disasters, children being hit by cars, bombs in public places, war, poverty, famine and injustice. Continue reading “A Broken World”
About The Bible
The Bible is the account of God’s action in the world and His purpose with all creation.
Forty authors, inspired by God, wrote the text of the Bible over the course of sixteen-hundred years, compiling a collection of books documenting God’s words about everything, from the creation of everything to the end of times. Continue reading “About The Bible”
The Name of God
From time to time I get questions about the name of God and why I don’t use it on my pages. I actually do refer to God in the most reverent and respectful way I can – by never writing or pronouncing His holy name. Continue reading “The Name of God”
International Towel Day 2012
First of all, yes, International Towel Day is a real thing. Continue reading “International Towel Day 2012”
Godzilla Explained
Somehow I felt obligated to explain Godzilla. Continue reading “Godzilla Explained”
What Christian Leaders Can Learn from Star Trek
Christian leaders: are you willing to boldly go where no one has gone before? Turns out, whether you’re a Star Trek enthusiast or not, we have much to learn from Captain Kirk’s style of leadership. Continue reading “What Christian Leaders Can Learn from Star Trek”
Everyone is Irish
On March 17 everyone gets to claim their Irish heritage, no matter how fictitious. Continue reading “Everyone is Irish”
Pi Day
Each March 13 (3.14) I find it a moral imperative to celebrate Pi day with Pie!
This year, I made pie! Continue reading “Pi Day”
Creepy Symmetry
OK – here’s a weird thing about my brain.
At lunch today I had an apple that was leaning off to one-side and I thought – hmm not very symmetrical.
Then I remembered a Newsweek Magazine article from about 15 years ago that described how symmetry had a lot to do with what we perceive to be beautiful. They showed actors’ and actress’ faces that were split up the middle and superimposed on the other side to show how symmetrical or not they were. Continue reading “Creepy Symmetry”
NASA – David Coppedge and evangelism at the office
There’s a trial in progress alleging NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory demoted and then fired computer specialist David Coppedge for promoting his views on intelligent design. Continue reading “NASA – David Coppedge and evangelism at the office”
Genius part 2
And if you have a French toast bagel, and bacon, and eggs, and cheese… Continue reading “Genius part 2”
Facebook posts from history
So, it turns out there’s a whole book full of these things, but I really had fun making them to go with this date in history. Hopefully, they are funny enough to inspire people to look up the event on their own. Continue reading “Facebook posts from history”
Two Words
Two words: “Genius”! Continue reading “Two Words”
Kony 2012
Total misunderstanding!
I’ve heard about this Kony thing but finally got around to figuring out what’s up. Misspelling there made all the difference! Continue reading “Kony 2012”
lousy puddle
See this puddle in the parking lot? Continue reading “lousy puddle”
For the record
For the record, you can indeed freeze gumbo. Continue reading “For the record”
Just Say No to Comic Sans and Papyrus
Can someone really hate a font?
How about two fonts?
The answer is unequivocally, yes.
If you’ve spent any time near churches or schools, you know the font all too well. Continue reading “Just Say No to Comic Sans and Papyrus”
Another T-Shirt
Sometimes I feel like I live on Social Networks. My profile on most of them reads like this:
“Tweeting from stoplights since 2006: voice actor, speaker, strategery, interwebz bible guy, displaced Bears and Cubs fan, I have a lot of t-shirts” Continue reading “Another T-Shirt”
Clip Clop
I haven’t posted on this blog in what seems like forever. It’s not that I’ve stopped eating, heavens no. It’s a matter of what to post. Today I drove out to Blue Ball, PA and hit the Smorgasbord at Shady Maple for breakfast. It’s in the heart of Lancaster County, and that’s Amish country. Continue reading “Clip Clop”
olden days
I used to write on this blog all the time. I used to publish every week and even had a “what’s wacky this week” tagline. So, what happened? Facebook… Twitter… I’m posting there all the time and neglecting this, my first foray into what would become social networking. So, let me look back at a few recent posts over there and see if they measure up. Continue reading “olden days”
The MirthMobile Story
This is the story of the MirthMobile. Continue reading “The MirthMobile Story”
Worst Christmas On Record
I like to make music mixes and I really do listen to them over and over.
This year I put together a new Christmas mix containing some of the worst Christmas songs ever. Continue reading “Worst Christmas On Record”
Pillow Fight
I got some new pillows!
They had a pillow fight. Continue reading “Pillow Fight”
Let’s Get Some Chinese
I’ve lived in the Philadelphia area for about 2 1/2 years. I have yet to find any really great Chinese food. That is until now. Continue reading “Let’s Get Some Chinese”
Mmmm… burger
Don’t you just love a good burger? I know I do! Continue reading “Mmmm… burger”
stuff that occurs to me
So maybe you’ve heard about the guy on twitter who wites “sh*t my dad says“. My twitter feed (also facebook) is much easier to digest. Here are some from the last couple of weeks. Continue reading “stuff that occurs to me”
It’s a trap
Admiral Akbar just cracks me up. If you’re not familiar with this squidly character from the Star Wars movies, he’s got one famous line, “it’s a trap!” It really killed me this morning. Continue reading “It’s a trap”
COFFEE
I got one of these Aeropress coffee makers for Christmas. I’ve been practicing and playing around with the process and amount of coffee for a few months, and I think I’ve really got it just right now. Continue reading “COFFEE”
Labeling Everything
You can look this up on Snopes to see that it’s true and everything. Continue reading “Labeling Everything”
PDA
Whether Public Display of Affection, or Electronic Organizer (which by the way does not abbreviate to PDA at all) it’s not something I think about often. However, today someone mentioned that teenagers use PDAs. Yeah… perhaps not as hip to the mod crowd as they’d hoped. Continue reading “PDA”
New Math
Sometimes people are bad at math. Sometimes they are bad at math on Facebook.
Really? Continue reading “New Math”
Men Are Happier People Part 2
Men Are Just Happier People – continued
Again, thanks to my friend Sue for sending this to me.
Continue reading “Men Are Happier People Part 2”
Men Are Happier People
Thanks to my friend Sue for sending this one to me.
Men Are Just Happier People Continue reading “Men Are Happier People”
clean plate club
Mmmmmm dinner time!
My very dear friend and land-lady Melissa made a quick hodge-podge of dinner happiness. Pierogies with onions and sour cream, fish sticks with tartar sauce, carrots, onions, mushrooms and Brussels sprouts.
The hardest thing for Melissa to understand is that I eat things I don’t like. I don’t like:
- Carrots
- Peas
- Squash
- Broccoli
- Cauliflower
- Brussels sprouts
That doesn’t mean I won’t eat them. I was taught to eat what’s in front of me, and I can usually manage to do that and smile through it all. So, I’m always a member of “The Clean Plate Club”. I at all my veggies and really liked the queso sauce she put on the sprouts. I also keep trying things that I might not like, because I never know when my tastes will change. For example, I started liking mushrooms this year. Who knew? The down-side of course is that it’s also easy for me to overeat.
For me, it’s ok if food goes to waist, as long as it doesn’t go to waste.
…maybe it’s just me?
Tiny Food
I recently had a late dinner special at a little pub. Little being the operative word here. Not only was the room small, so was the food. This “Petite Filet” came with an itty-bitty potato and snow peas. The Steak was fine – just about 3oz. The potato on the other-hand was the size of a ping-pong ball.
I felt like Gulliver.
So what goes with that? A tiny Coke of course.
… maybe it’s just me?
New Amex Ad Bombs
From Homeland Security / Special Operations
On Wednesday, April 6, 2011, members of the Baltimore County Police Department – Hazardous Devices Team responded to a suspicious item received via the mail (USPS). The recipient partially opened the item and observed “wires” which he felt were consistent with an IED. The item was subsequently examined by bomb technicians who determined the item to be a new “American Express” advertisement.
I repeat – NOT A BOMB.
NOT A BOMB! – kinda one of those musical greeting cards… awesome.
Christmas Story
I can’t believe that Christmas is almost here!
I have a special shout-out to my friend Matt for passing this heartfelt story on to me. I’m not above posting something that’s traveling around the internet and although this might not exactly fit in the format of the Wacky blog, it really got to me.
So – in the time-honored tradition of the Christmas Shoes, here is a Christmas story for 2009.
—————-
Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. Then I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.
As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old.
He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night’s chill. Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong.
He told me his sad story:
He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children Christmas presents.
The young boy had been dropped off by his mother, on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.
“Why didn’t you scream for help?” I asked.
The boy said, “I did.”
“And nobody came to help you?” I wondered.
The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head.
“How loudly did you scream?” I inquired.
The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, “Help me!”
I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help. So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.
Turn around
Oddly enough, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been pointed to a couple of different quirky pieces about the old 80’s hit, “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler.
First is this flow-chart detailing the song.
Jeannie Harrell takes Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler, and puts it in flowchart form.
And this literal interpretation of the music video.
This just in… Brak
It is ITLAPD again
Get Your Yaar On!
Today is September 18 – or as I like to call it, International Talk Like A Pirate Day‘s Eve.
For the weekend, I am Piratizing the whole Mirthmobile site. Enjoy it while you can!
Special thanks to the Yahoo Developer Network for the JavaScript. This helpful little script turns seemingly innocuous phrases into a salty prattle.
Example:
Before
After
Still a Typo
Is it still considered a typo when you make it out of wood and mass-produce it?
A co-worker of mine picked up some office decor and found what she thought said “Peace” followed by a decorative cross. While showing it off, she pointed out how she wanted a reminder to have peace in her life.
I suggested that she would most likely get lots of visitors to her desk and phone calls asking for computer help. (followed by a blank look)
It took a while for her to figure out that the Peace wooden cut-out instead spelled PC ACE.
I still like to call her from time to time and ask her questions about my Mac.
Food Challenge Fail
I’ve hardly blogged since moving to the Philadelphia area and starting my new job, and bemoaning that fact recently inspired me to eat something I shouldn’t have.
3 pancakes!
I know – three pancakes doesn’t sound like a big deal, but at a little diner in Royersford, PA they have a challenge on the menu. If you can eat 3, you don’t pay, otherwise it’s just $5.50. So, I figured I could take 3 pancakes.
I was so wrong.
I know some strategies – don’t drink too much, don’t eat other things, stay in training…
After a little while I felt pretty good. I thought to myself,
“I can manage this.” “Should be no problem.”
I’ve eaten plenty of big things in the past:
2 cheese steaks
a really big (1 pound) burger
this thing
and of course – The El Gigante
I even won a donut eating contest once.
To my shame this time it was not to be.
FAIL
Annamarie’s Cafe – you win, please enjoy my $5.50.
marker fun
See how much fun you can have with a marker and a window in your cubicle?
It’s lots of fun working in a creative environment.
Meanwhile, here’s a list of other things you should have seen on the internet.
You Should Have Seen This
Thanks Matt!
Part of this nutritious breakfast
That’s right – Texas! An important part of this nutritious breakfast.
The Residence Inn, Austin has been great so far. An easy walk to the Paramount Theater for the Q conference, and it’s got a kicking breakfast.
Now I want more waffles in other shapes!
…maybe it’s just me.
Foreign Language Skills
Things I’d like to know how to say in a foreign language, like Russian:
We’re in silent attack mode!
I will be your friend. I am dangerous.
Ha! I have your lawn chair!
There are 10 cars parked here. 9 of them are not mine.
When you win, I win.
Why are there so many trucks?
This is what I call a happy day.
There is fresh milk in the refrigerator.
It’s a shame I didn’t buy a package of cookies.
Where is your refrigerator?
How do I help my self to your food?
Do you think your market is better than my supermarket?
I have found your item in row 14.
So you didn’t buy me a pet?
This is my friend Bob. He is your friend too. Why don’t you say hello. He said hi.
There are times I own more pennies than I have now.
Will you buy my grommet factory?
This is not my friend. Go find my friend.
Oh I bet you think I sound silly. Well, watch me drive your car!
Where do I find a toy store in this mountainous region?
Not-ah! My foot’s bigger than your nose!
I know how to fight cavities!
Google Makes Life Easier
I know you all need help with the technology in your lives and I thought I’d point you to some ways Google is making my life easier.
Over the years, Google has helped me with my home internet connection:
Helped me understand how their search engine rankings work:
And even provided me with refreshing beverages to help balance my electrolytes:
This year, Google has added a couple of great user-friendly tools to their labs, including:
Autopilot for email
It utilizes their new Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE):
So, dig in, hook up, and plug away.
I Kin Do It
So my plane was stuck on the approach to the runway in Philadelphia – number 23 for departure…
I’m on my way to BibleTech in Seattle. My flights are scheduled to go from PHL to Dulles, to Seattle. That’s two Washingtons in one day – nice.
I breakfasted at the airport Dunkin Donuts. They have two ad campaigns going right now.
1) America Runs On Dunkin
2) You Kin Do It
The second campaign shows people in impossible situations overcoming them. How? Why – because they have a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee or a donut, or a waffle-sandwich.
I needed to get from my new home airport to Washington DC – Dulles in time to catch the next flight to Seattle, but there are roadblocks. Getting out on the runway and staying there for 40 minutes with the engines shut down so we don’t have to go back to the gate to refuel is this particular hurdle.
But – I realized – I still had some Dunkin Coffee. I’m all set I guess.
…maybe it’s just me?
Doritos mouse trap
Still killing me.
tall lasagna
I’m not kidding, this thing is huge.
A recent business dinner brought a party of 7 to Maggianos for family style dining. One of the pasta choices was Mom’s Lasagna. Will you just look at the height?
It must be oooh… at least… well… it’s tall isn’t it!?!?
… maybe it’s just me.
Why You Are Fat
illustrated word
Sometimes, it’s just embarrassing to be in marketing and the church. Continue reading “illustrated word”
objects in mirror
Objects in Mirror are Dumber than they Appear
Reminds me of a story –
These two guys get out of Truck Driving School and on their first run, they see a sign for a low bridge – 12 feet – 0 inches. They check the truck and the height is 13 feet 9 inches. They keep driving.
As they get closer to the bridge, they see another sign, “ low bridge – 12 feet – 0 inches”. They check the truck and the height is 13 feet 9 inches. They keep driving.
Finally as they get to the bridge, they stop, see the sign on the bridge, “12 feet – 0 inches”. They check the truck and the height is 13 feet 9 inches.
One driver says, “Waddaya think?”
The other says, “Well, there’s not a cop in sight, I say we go for it.”